Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 😂

I told my suitcase there would be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!

What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well!

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!

Why did the cookie go to the nurse? It felt crumbly!

Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!

Knock knock. Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!

Knock knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, cow says moo!

Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you!

Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome!

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana split, so I split!

Knock knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car!

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

The graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

Velcro is a total rip-off. It's a smooth material, really.

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador! 🐶

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

Why did the duck go to the pharmacy? To get some quack medicine!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Why did the pencil go to the party? To draw attention!

What is a math teacher's favorite place? Times Square!

Why did the history book go to the nurse? It had too many dates!

What do you call a teacher who never frowns? A ruler with a straight face!

Why did the eraser go to school? To correct its mistakes!

Why was the computer cold at school? It left its Windows open!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍕

Why did the orange stop running? It ran out of juice!

What do you call a melon that can't get married? A cantaloupe!

Why did the bread go to the bakery? To get a little dough!

What do you call a cheese that can play music? A brie-lliant musician!

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener!

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!

What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn't see himself doing it!

What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory!

Why did the clock go to the doctor? It was feeling ticked off!