Corny Jokes

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener!

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!

What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn't see himself doing it!

What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory!

Why did the clock go to the doctor? It was feeling ticked off!

I asked the cloud for a joke, but it just rained on my parade.

My plants are really growing on me.

I told my wall a joke and it was plastered with laughter.

The doorbell rang, and I answered with a ding-dong of a greeting.

I put my money in the freezer because I wanted cold hard cash.

My chair and I are on a roll - it keeps wheeling me around.

I told the lamp it was bright, and it lit up with joy.

The elevator and I have our ups and downs.

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

My calendar and I are really going places - one day at a time.

I told the ocean a joke, and it waved back.

The table and I have a stable relationship.

I told my computer to break the ice, and it froze.

My socks are a perfect match - they always pair up.

I asked the wind to tell me a secret, and it blew me away.

The roof and I are really on top of things.

I told the book a joke, and it cracked up its spine.

My bike and I are wheelie good friends.

I told the sun a joke, and it rose to the occasion.

The blanket and I are really wrapped up in each other.

I told the clock a joke, and it was about time.

My guitar and I are really in tune with each other.

I told the mountain a joke, and it peaked my interest.

The window and I see things clearly now.

I told the garden a joke, and it grew on everyone.